South park high school host club
by SPlover187
Summary: Kyle is a poor boy (secretly a poor girl) who is really smart and managed to get in a rich school. One day he stumbles upon a group of attractive men who call them self a host club. Ouran High School Host club but with south park people! A few changes will be made though... The main ships that will show up are: Creek (just because i can), K2, and Staig.
1. Chapter 1

**HEY! Okay, so this is pretty much EXACTLY like Ouran High School Host Club but South Park! The characters are:**

**The twins = Stan (karou) and Craig (hikaru)**  
**Tamaki = Kenny**  
**Kyoya = Cartman**  
**Honey = Tweek**  
**Mori = Token**  
**Haruhi = Fem!Kyle**

**But we dont know that kyles a female. yet... hahaha so ya. enjoy part 1!**

**I DONT OWN SOUTH PARK OR OURAN HIGH SCHOOL HOST CLUB**

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Kyle sighed and closed the library door. Why were all 4 library so loud? All the poor ginger wanted was a quiet place to study.

Kyle started to walk away. All rich people seemed to think school was just a way to hang out with your friends. The boy hadnt worked so hard to get into this school to fail his test. He needed to study.

He wandered around until he noticed a room. He adjusted his glasses slightly and looked at the sign which said "Music Room #3".

"An abounded music room?" He said to him self. "Well... I guess this will do." He grabbed the door and pushed it open stepping inside.

"Welcome." Six voices said in unison.

Kyle looked up in shock. He wasn't expecting any one to be in the room. Especially not six... well decently attractive men.

OH NO. This most have been the host club he had heard all about from girls.

"I-is this a host club?" He asked shakly as he backed up, his back making contact with the now closed door.

"Oh wow it's a boy!" To boys said at the same time. These two MUST be twins. They looked exactly the same. Booth having black hair, blue eyes, the same height and booth skinny.

"Stan. Craig." Another boy said, eyeing Kyle like all the other boys were. This one was on the chubby side, but not to the point it made him un-attractive. He had brown hair and brown eyes. "I believe this young man is in the same class as you?" He looked at the two raven haired boys.

"Ya. But he's shy. He doesn't act very social so we don't know much about him." They booth said at the same time, looking at the other and shrugging at the same time as well.

The boy with brown hair smirked. "Well that wasn't very nice." He looked back at Kyle. "Welcome to the South Park host club, Mr. honors student."

Suddenly a boy with blond hair spoke up. "What? You must be Kyle Broflovski. Youre that honors student we've heard of!"

Kyle, who had been trying to attempt an escape, turned around to look at the blonde. "How did you know my name?" He asked quietly.

"Why, you're pretty well known. It's not every day that a commoner gains entrance into our academy. You must have an audacious nerve to work hard enough to fight your way into this school as an honor student, Mr. Broflovski." The chubby one said with a small smirk.

Kyle was chewing on the inside of his cheek while the other boy talked. "Well ah- thank you. I guess." He said quietly once the other had finished.

Suddenly the tall blonde one had put his arm on kyles shoulder. "You're welcome. You are a hero to other poor people, Broflovski. You've shown the world that even a poor person can excel at an élite private academy."

Kyle moved away from the others touch and started to scoot away, but the blonde followed and continued talking. "It must be hard for you to constantly be looked down upon by others."

"I think you're taking this poor thing too far." Kyle mumbled as he still tried to move away from the other.

"Spurned, neglected." The tall blonde continued, probably not hearing what Kyle had said. "But that doesn't matter now. Long live the poor! We welcome you, poor man, to our world of beauty!

Kyle sighed and headed for the door. "I'm outta here."

But suddenly his arm was grabbed. "Hey! Come back here Kyle!" A small blonde said. He was really... REALLY short. He had insane blonde hair that stood up in every direction. He had a huge, childish smile on his freckled face. "You must be like a super hero or something! That's so cool!"

"I'm not a hero. I'm an honor student." Kyle said as calmly as he could manage. "OKAY!?" He yelled, unsure why he was angry. Oh right, he was supposed to be studying.

The small blonde ran away once kyle had yelled. He hid behind A one of the raven haired boys.

The tall blonde smirked and leaned against the wall slightly. "I never would have imagined the famous scholar would be so openly gay."

Kyle blushed. "Openly what?" He asked. Where the hell did that come from?

"So tell me what kind of guys you're into!" The tall blonde said with a smile. "Are you into the strong, silent type?" He gestured to a tall, black man who was handing the short blonde a stuff... coffee mug plush?

"The boy lolita?" The tall blonde continued, now gesturing the the smaller blonde who was holding the plush and giggling happily.

"How about the mischievous type?" He gestured to the two he had called Stan and Craig, whose arms were linked.

"Or the cool type?" He asked and gestured to the chubby one who smirked slightly.

"I uh..." The flustered ginger started to back away. "I-It's not like that! I was just looking for a quiet place to study!"

"Or maybe..." The tall blonde stepped closer, putting his hand under Kyles chin and bringing their faces closer. "You're into a guy like me... What do you say?"

Kyle made a small noise and stepped back quickly, accidentally bumping into something. He turned and gasped as he saw a fancy looking vase falling. He tried to reach out and catch it but he failed. It fell to the floor and shattered.

"Awww..." The two raven hair boys said at the same time in disappointment.

"We were going to feature that Renaissance vase in an upcoming school auction." The one with the slightly raspy voice said.

"Oh now you've done it, commoner. The bidding on that vase was supposed to start at 90,000 dollars!" The other said.

"What!? 90,000 dollars!" Kyle practically squeaked. He started to mumble out some math stuff. Then he looked at the two. "Uh.. im gonna... have to pay you back..."

"With what money?" They asked in unison. "You can't even afford a school uniform."

"What's with that grubby outfit you've got on anyway?" The one with the none raspy voice asked.

"Well, what do you think we should do, Kenny?" The chubby one asked as he picked up some glass before Kyle had a chance to explain the slightly baggy outfit he was wearing.

The tall blonde, who was apparently named Kenny, started to walk to a chair. "There's a famous saying you may have heard, Broflovski." He sat in the chair and crossed his legs. "When in Rome, you should do as the Romans do." He smirked and looked into Kyles eyes, which were hidden behind his glasses.

"Since you have no money, you can pay with your body." Kenny continued. "That means, starting today, you are the host club's dog."

Kyles face heated up and he froze. His mid was racing. What is that suppose to mean!?

He was so lost in his thoughts he hadn't noticed the other boys waving their hands in front of his face to try to get his attention. He still didn't respond when the small blonde poked him and caused him to fall over.

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**So I'll pick up from here next time! Yay! R&R please!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Really quick unneeded chapter. If you know what a host club is and every thing ****you can skip**** if you want! Pretty Much it's kyle learning everyone's names and what a host club is.**

**I don't own Ouran High School Host Club or South Park!**

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"So, do you know everyone's names now?" Kenny asked Kyle.

"I-I think so..." Kyle rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well, give it a shot!" Kenny smiled.

"Okay... you're Kenny." Kyle pointed at Kenny who nodded.

Then Kyle pointed at the slightly chubby one. "Eric." Eric nodded.

Kyle pointed at the tall black boy. "Token." Token smirked slightly.

"Tweek." Kyle pointed to the short blonde who giggled.

"You got it right!" Tweek said happily.

Kyle continued. He pointed to the two raven haired boy. "Stan on the left and Craig on the right." They booth smiled.

"Wrong." The said at the same time.

"Stan's on the right." Craig said.

"And Craig's on the left." Stan said.

"darn it." Kyle mumbled and Eric patted his back.

"Don't worry, they're identical so its hard to tell them apart." Eric said. "But you can always tell by their voices when they aren't talking at the same time. And Craig's hair's parted to the left, while Stan's is parted to the right."

Kyle nodded. "Okay. Got it."

"Knowing the names of fellow hosts in the host club is highly important, Kyle." Kenny said with a smirk.

Kyle nodded. "So... what exactly if a host club?" he asked Kenny.

The blonde smiled. "well... lets just put it this way... You know that only those with excellent social standing and those from filthy rich families are lucky enough to spend their time here at the elite private school, South Park academy. The South Park host club is where the school's handsomest boys with too much time on their hands entertain young ladies who also have way too much time on their hands." The blonde said, then he looked down at Kyle. "Just think of it as South Park academy's elegant playground for the super-rich and beautiful." He said with a smirk.

Kyle nodded. "That makes sense... I guess."

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**Next chapter soon! R&R please?**


	3. Chapter 3

**God this took forever. I'm sorry!**

**I don't own South Park or Ouran High School Host Club.**

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Kyle shuffled into Music Room #3 awkwardly. He felt so out-of-place here. Every one in the room was either a girl or an attractive boy.

"Kenny?" Kyle heard a girl ask nervously. his eyes fell on the couch Kenny was sitting on with 2 girls, and 2 more on the couch across from the coffee table. "What's your favorite song?"

"What song?" Kenny asked as he looked at the girl with a small smile. "The one that reminds me of you, of course." He said, causing the girl to blush.

"I baked you a cake, today." The girl to his right said. "Would you like to taste it?"

Kenny moved his hand under the girls chin and brought their faces closer together. "Only if you'll feed it to me, darling." He said quietly.

The girl blushed and looked away. "Oh, you're so dreamy!" She giggled.

Suddenly the girl to Kenny's left with long blonde and frizzy hair put down her tea-cup. "May I have a word with you, Kenny?" she asked politely as she looked at Kenny, who was now looking at her and had let go of the other girls face. "I've recently heard the host club's keeping a little kitten without a pedigree."

"I don't know if I'd call him that..." Kenny said as his eyes landed on Kyle. "Speak of the devil!"

Kyle walked over to the couch and kenny smiled. "Thanks for doing the shopping, little piglet. Did you get everything on our list?" He asked.

Kyle raised an eyebrow as he handed Kenny the bag. "What? Piglet?"

"Hey wait a minute.." Kenny pulled out the container of instant coffee Kyle had bought. "what is this?"

"Just what it looks like. It's coffee." Kyle said, confused why Kenny was confused.

"I've never seen this brand before. Is this the kind that's already ground?" Kenny asked as he scratched the back of his head.

"What do you mean? It's instant coffee." Kyle said, eyeing the confused blonde.

"It's instant?" The two girls on the couch across from Kenny asked at the same time with a small tilt of their heads.

"Wow, I've heard of this before!" Kenny said in sudden realization. "It's commoners' coffee. You just add hot water!"

"I didn't know there was such a thing." One of the girls said. Kyle glanced at her and noticed the group of other girls behind her.

"So, it's true then, poor people don't even have enough free time to grind their own coffee beans." The girl next to the other said.

"Commoners are pretty smart..." Eric said as the rest of the host club and more girls grouped behind the other couch that Kenny was sitting on.

"100 grams for $6.99?" Craig read off the bottle over Kenny's shoulder.

"That's a lot less than we normally pay." Stan added, looking over Kenny's other shoulder.

Kyle sighed. "I'll go back and get something else. Excuse me for not buying you guys expensive coffee." He reached out to take it back but Kenny moved it so Kyle couldn't grab it.

"No, I'll keep it." Kenny announced causing all the girls watching to go "huh?" at the same time.

Kenny stood up. "I'm going to give it a try." This caused everyone to gasp besides Kyle and the girl with the blonde frizzy hair.

"I WILL DRINK THIS COFFEE!" Kenny said as he held up the container. Everyone started clapping besides Kyle and the same girl. Kenny smiled at the approval and started to walk away, everyone following. "All right, Kyle, get over here and make some of this commoners' coffee."

Kyle rolled his eyes. "I hate all these damn rich people..." He said under his breath as he turned to follow. But then the blonde girl spoke up.

"Oh Kenny, now you're taking the joke too far. Your palate won't be able to stomach that crap. You don't have to drink it just because he bought it." She giggled as she put her tea-cup down.

Kyle raised an eyebrow. Kenny wasn't even in the room anymore... Why would she be talking to him if he couldn't hear her?

"I'm sorry." She said before turning to look up at Kyle and with a smile. "I was talking to myself."

"Uh..." Kyle started but then Kenny's voice filled the room.

"Kyle?" Kenny called and Kyle sighed, walking to the door.

"I'm coming..." He mumbled.

In the kitchen were Kenny and a bunch of girls were waiting Kyle put some of the instant coffee in to 4 tea cups. Then he added water to all of them "Here." He said as he handed the tray that held them to Kenny.

"Let the tasting began." Kenny said as four girls grabbed the cups and looked at the dark liquid.

"I'm a little scared to drink this stuff." One of the girls said that was looking in to a tea-cup.

Another nodded in agreement. "I'm afraid if I drink this, my father will yell at me."

Kenny smirked and moved closer to the girl, making their noses not even an inch apart. "What if I let you drink it from my mouth?"

The girl blushed. "Oh well then, I would drink it." She said in a slightly higher pitched voice. All the other girls started screaming and fan-girling.

Kyle sighed. "This is ridiculous... I'm going back to the music room." He said as he stated to walk out the door.

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**NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE SOON! I PROMISE!**

**R&R Please? **


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